"Oh, I am so sorry," Al admitted, "I just got done calling Kramer onto the carpet for using the "N" word, when I myself have often been guilty of the vituperative use of the "W" word. I have most regrettably been thoughtless in reverse."

And Jesse Jackson lamented, "Oh, please, forgive me as well for my often ill-considered use of the "W" word. How can I expect the elimination of the "N" word when I myself bandy around its white equivalent?"

Naturally, the audience, being made up of blacks with a sprinkling of whites, was not certain of what to make of the two apologies. Opinion was, as the saying goes, split along racial lines.

But one white reporter did exclaim, "Yo, great! Hey, if you think about it, even an albino isn't completely white. What about all those blood vessels?"

And a black reporter, taking the lead, noted, "While that is certainly true and I henceforth disavow the use of the "W" word, as I expect you to terminate your use of the black correlate, I just want to observe that nothing is more ridiculous than people of a lighter shade, trying to dance like people of a darker shade."

Finally, an elderly black man raises his cane, and noted, "I believe we shall have a hard time eliminating either word, since the expression of them is an effect. I expect we will do better to work on the causes of their use and finally on what meaning we attribute to either."

He received quite an ovation but somehow a person next to him, whose ethnicity shall go unmentioned, kicked his cane out from under him. The perpetrator did, however, help the aged fellow up, with profuse apologies.

About the Author

Tom Attea, humorist and creator of NewsLaugh.com, has had six shows produced Off-Broadway. Critics have called his writing "delightfully funny," "witty," with "good, genuine laughs" and "great humor and ebullience."